Many men and women assume that adulthood means giving up the childlike pursuit of happiness to take on responsibility. They often think that pursuing their own happiness is a sign of selfishness.
While adults are expected to sacrifice immediate pleasure for long-term payoff, there is no reason they should not pursue happiness. Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project calls the idea that it is selfish to be happy “the biggest myth” about happiness.
Nancy Montagna, Ph.D., and Robin Carnes, MBA, assert that no one should believe it is selfish to be happy. “Happiness is not selfish because happiness is contagious,” they write. In other words, by making yourself happy, you help make others happy as well.
It calls to mind that fridge magnet that says, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” People are learning that in order to care for others, they have to care for themselves first.
Have you ever realized that your own happiness needs to be a priority? Tell us what you learned. One lucky commenter will win a free Felicity Collection papercrafting kit. There are only a few days left in National Papercrafting month, so be sure to visit this blog everyday for more inspiration and chances to win!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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I read the book "The Heartache No One Sees" by Sheila Walsh and I realized that I not only have to make time for me a priority but that my depression didn't have to rule that time. Now scrapping does. :)
I take two weekends per year for scrapbooking retreats! It gives me some time to rejuvenate, do what I love, and bring back some happiness to my family (not to mention some great layouts)!
I have always tried to do the theings that made me happy and sometimes felt guilty for it. But, happiness is contagious and does pass from one person to the next. All it takes is a smile to change someone's day.
I live by this quote by Albert Schweitzer:
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
I've learned that happiness is a choice. No one can give it to us and no one can take it away from us. It's a choice and we can make that choice no matter what our circumstances are.
Getting to take care of my babies has made me so happy!! Getting to scrap all those precious little moments has been a cherry on top!
I have always realized that the mood of one person can affect the whole group. Twice last week, I hung out with the same group of friends, but the mood was vastly different each time because of one person's attitude. I regard happiness as a choice and try to make the choice to be happy where I am and when I am to make others happy as well. :)
I read a book several years ago "Simple Abundance" its about apreciating each day and all the little things. Now I try to cherish each and every day. I also love the quote "Life is a journey not a destination". It is easy to say I will be happy when....happens, be happy now!
TRisha Bossio
My husband likes to tell my kids, "If Mommy is happy, everyone is happy." :)
I have learned that happiness is a choice, and each of us gets to decide whether we will be happy or not. Sure, there are circumstances and events that cause unhappiness, but you still get to decide how it affects you. I do wholeheartedly agree that Happiness is contagious!!
Gina Stockfisch
I definitely have the "Mommy Martyr" complex. I've only recently learned that time for me is a NECESSITY for my own happines and identity. It makes me feel like less of a machine and more of a person, and my kids learn to see me as my own person with likes and dislikes as well!
It was many years before I decided to do something that made me happy even though it had nothing to do with my husband or family. To my surprise, this made them happy!
It's sometimes hard to remember that I can pursue my happiness. I think part of being mommy is taking care of everyone else. Thanks for the reminder!
Helen
Many years ago, I worked with a single mom who laughed alot. We went to lunch together three times a week, and it took me awhile - okay, at least a year! - to realize that I always came back from lunch in a downer mood. My co-worker's laughter was a cover for negative thinking, and whenever I spent time with her, I subconsciously picked up on that. I now choose to spend my time with positive people - other scrapbookers! - and am much happier.
Sometimes, my own happiness comes from doing something for someone else...even if it's just a heartfelt prayer for someone I know is struggling.
I definitely KNOW I have to take time for myself and the days that I don't are so much worse. Just a few monites a day away from work- a walk in nature- make teh difference in my mood, spirit and productivity.
I do at least one thing for myself everyday - it may be as simple as paying attention to feeling the heat of the sun on my arm or taking a bath rather than a shower or sharing a laugh with a friend. But that one thing can bring me happiness and peace of mind.
When our kiddos were toddlers, and I realized that my husband was taking a whole day to play golf, but I was turning down my all-day crop ivitations, I thought, 'wait a minute! I need a break too!' To my surprise, my husband was totally fine with it, and to this day, the whole family notices how much fun I have with my scrappy friends, whether it's all-day scrapping, or scrappy shopping, or making homemade cards. Same thing applies to getting my hair colored...I'm much happier after it's done! And one of my children says, 'your hair looks pretty now that you've painted it!' I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
It took me many years to learn that I needed to be happy, too! I was so busy being the caretaker of my young children and working full time that there was no time for me! I finally realize that I have to find the time to do something just for me!
It took me a good long while to discover that being a good wife and mother absolutely did not have to mean being a martyr for the cause. LOL Once I discovered that fundamental truth, I allowed myself to be a happier person. I lost some of the Supermom aspirations I held so dear and changed my expectations of what it meant to have a good day. Instead of trying to keep everything perfect around me I learned to stop and enjoy my life. My house is no longer spotless, but I, my husband, and the kids are all much happier.
I truly believe we are responsible for our own happiness. Sure, we all have our moments of sadness, that is life... But we must pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off not only for ourselves but for the people we love. Find what puts a smile on your face....you will see that the smile is returned by others...and when you see that smile on others.........take a picture and scrapbook!!!!!
Paula Stevenson
I've realized that true joy comes through Christ and that I need to be looking toward Him.
You do have to take time for yourself in order to keep up with everyone else. Raising a family requires a lot, and Mom is usually the center of the home. Momma really DOES need to be happy. Wishing all the moms out there MUCH HAPPINESS!!
Happiness comes from living a healthy lifestyle. Not "diet" healthy but spiritual health, physical health, emotional health. You have to take care of yourself or your no good to anyone. My time with God, family, friends, and scrapbooking all help me keep the happiness alive in my life.
I learned this in a big way when I had 2 highly active kids in 2 years! I am an introvert and my kids/husband are just the opposite. I was trying so hard to be super mom and needed a Dr to tell me I wont be a successful parent until I take care of myself first. That was hard to hear since I didnt want to be selfish, but it really has helped. Now my whole family is truly happy! Oh, and winning a felicity collection would help my happiness since scrapbooking is one of the "me-time" hobbies--no kids allowed!
If I'm not happy within, then I cannot be all that I want to be to others. It's a wonderful circle: I do something for me (e.g., theatre), I'm happier, then I'm more patient with others and more willing to help, and when I help others, my happiness increases. One of the best things I can model to my children is to create one's own happiness.
I have definitely found that when I am happy, all who are around me are as well. My joy though, comes from the Lord, for "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" I do not want momentary happiness, I want joy in all circumstances!
I'm happiest around my kids. Sometimes it's challenging. Challenging or not, they are my sons and I love them with all my heart.
Jewish Proverb:
But happy is he who is gracious to the poor.
If I am running on empty, then I am no good to my children. So I have learned to take better care of myself so that I can take better care of them :)
~C
When you're a mom, it's really hard to try to make yourself happy and not feel guilty about it! I still struggle with it, but I finally made up my mind to go back to school to get my master's degree because that's what I really wanted to do. It's something that makes me happy, and to my surprise, my family is happy for me!
I have a friend with mental illness, and I have always been there to support her through her ups and downs, no matter how draining it was on me. But several years ago I became quite ill and had to finally take a step back so I could get healthy again myself. While it did fracture the friendship it also showed me that I had been way to giving of myself to the exclusion of my health.
I joined the local gym, I feel better about myself so in turn I am happier, I also take one weekend a year with my daughter & Daughter in laws two of my friends their daughters and and daughter in laws we go to a show and shop all weekend. Taking time for what I enjoy,
Twice a month I attend a Scrapbook and Card workshop with my favorite CTMH consultant. We have a great time, try to solve world problems and relax.
Barb K
I find with a husband, 4 kids, volunteering at the school, family events... that there is little time to slow down and smell the roses! But with that being said... I like to slip away with the girls and go to lunch, find a Sat. night to sit and scrapbook, sometimes find a good book and forget about the outside world- if only for a hour or two a week. Me time is very important to keep me happy and relaxed.
Happiness for me right now is looking at the smiles of my 2 month old grandbaby!
I've learned that happiness begins with me. Then it trickles down into my family and those around me. I've also learned that if people bring you down, you don't need them in your life and it's best to move on.
A good friend, who is also a therapist, told me one time, "You can't give what you don't have" - meaning, take care of yourself and your own happiness so you will have it to share with others. If we don't take care of ourselves we will be too depleted to take care of others!
I had been living in a different state for about 4 years, away from family and friends, when one day it hit me that I was unhappy, that even though it was a big adventure, what would make me truly happy was being with the people I love. After that day, I made it a priority to get home, and now that I am, I realize it was the best decision I ever made.
I have realized that if I try to have a more positive attitude about events and situations then I will have a better overall experience.
I find that I need to be happy, or at least content with life to be able to function to the best of my ability. If I am happy, things get accomplished and the people around me see that and it spreads - quickly! It is easy to let bad things that happen get the best of you, but if you just see one small positve thing that came of it, that is the beginning of happiness.
I learned that I was not letting myself be happy with my attitude. It's hard for me not to see the negative a lot of the time and when I had a realization a while back about my attitude, it's helped me to be happier with everything, especially because I can't control everything. I'm not perfect at it and oftentimes I still focus on the negative, but I'm working on it!
It is hard, as a mom, to pursue your own happiness without feeling guilty but I think if you don 't you can get resentful - which is no good for anyone so it is a must!
It is a lot of work to be a full-time mom, wife and hold a high-level professional position. However all of these things have aspects that make me happy so I try to keep myself in balance and everything seems to work out!
Like so many others, for many years I tried to "be" for others, the martyr. I finally learned that time for myself is essential for my well-being as well as that of my family. Now I even push myself to do things I wouldn't have taken the time to enjoy before. I feel refreshed and more alive with each endeavor. Now I am for others and am happy to be there for them whenever I can. I AM HAPPY.
P.S.... thank you to CTMH for all the wonderful stamps and my great consultant! I am so addicted to the easy to use, versatile clear stamps and share the fun with my granddaughter,too.
My growing up years were largely miserable because I could not adapt to the constant moving that was part of being an Army brat. At 16, I realized that happiness comes from within and is mostly self-directed. While you can not always control the events that are happening around you, you can control how you react to them. To be happy is a choice that each person needs to consciously make. I am forever grateful for whatever event it was in my life that led me to this discovery. I am a happy person most of the time and it is because I choose to be. Yes, we get lemons sometimes, so just make lemonade and enjoy it!
When the children were infants, it was all about them (which naturally I think happens) but as they became toddlers I started finding myself looking in the mirror more and wondering where I was. That's when working out became a priority in my life because it makes me happy and also when my husband and I carved out my Tuesday nights for me. Of course, I often find myself scrapbooking every Tuesday but I've been known to go out to chick flick every once in a while as my mommy escape. Jessica from Iowa
For sure, otherwise I am very cranky!!!!!!!!!
I learned a long time ago that I need to carve out time for myself to keep me sane and happy - even just a half-hour a day works wonders.
If you were asked, "Which comes first, motivation or action?" what would you say? Sometimes we sit and wait for motivation to strike before we attempt something. But it is actually action that comes first. If we jump in and get started, the motivation will kick in and keep us going, whether it is a project or a new goal or whatever. Take the action! (Easier said than done, as I sit here in my pj's while my daughter says, "it's time for you to take a shower Mommy!")
I think happiness does rub off on other people. I try to be happy for my family and those around me, but I also know to stay happy, I need time to myself. Scrapbooking is one of the ways I take time for myself.
After spending years working too many long hours both at a paying job and a volunteer job, within the past 12 months I have come to understand that I need time to do fun things just for me and not feel guilty about it. Now I make sure to carve out a few hours every week having fun - reading, scrapbooking, making cards, working on needlework, gardening, hanging out with friends, etc. I am much happier now and feel like I hvae a lot more happiness to share.
If I'm having a bad day I will take a step back and tell myself that I have many things to be happy about. I think about the little things in my everyday life that make me happy. Then I get a big smile on my face and the rest of the day is good. Life is to short not to be happy!
Happy is a state of mind. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be unhappy. It's like looking at the glass half full or half empty
When it comes to happiness, the motto I try to live by is that "happiness is a choice." Sure, circumstances in life sometimes make that choice a difficult and occasionally impossible one to make, but ultimately that's the aim.
I recall on old saying on a magnet at my friends house when I was young it said, " When mama ain't happy- ain't nobody happy!" We just need to be happy and take the good with the bad.
My husband died when my daughter was a year old.... she is 14 now. I have realized over the years, you have to take time to do something you enjoy. I take twice a year scrapbook weekends with my friends. We have been doing it since 2002! We also scrapbook once a month. I look forward to it and it gives me a chance to relax with my friends. I have also found the nerve to say NO to requests for my time. I volunteer a lot, besides working full time. I now will only volunteer for something that my daughter and I are both passionate about. You do have to choose to look for hapiness, and try to stay away from negativity.
I've come to realize that happiness is a choice and it's contagious. When I am a happy person, it spreads to everyone around me which only makes me happier:)
While I have learned to do things that make me happy in my life, I have also come to realize that happiness is a choice. I make my own happiness by deciding that I am going to be happy. I focus on what I have rather than on what I don't have. It is amazing not only what an attitude of gratitude that it gives me, but also how happy I am.
I achieve happiness by being content with where I am, with what I have, with who I am. As a child, we grew what we ate and ate what we grew. Today as an adult, i am happy with the family I have, in my home and with others, and content with me...until I need to change something. If something's not working in my attitude or my job, need to change something to get a different result, or capitalize on the ONE aspect that is working and enjoy it A LOT! Happiness is definitely a choice I make everyday.
forgot to leave my name on Anonymous Jan 27, 2010 2:08 pm regarding contentment and enjoying aspect that works A LOT....Nanceeq in CO
When I was the primary caregiver for my bed ridden mom, the physical therapist would come by to work with her. He told me something I will not forget. He said I needed to be careful not to hurt myself in trying to care for her. He was referring to lifting and moving her physically. But I came to realize that just because you are devoted to helping others, does not mean you neglect your own needs.
I have learned that my difficult work situation is carried over into my home life and my stress can spill out into my life away from work. It's important to destress and do things that make you appreciate why you put up with some of the stuff that makes you unhappy!
I've learned that if mama's not happy....nobodys' happy!! I try to keep myself in check and when I am getting stressed, find a way to let that stress go, wheather it be creating, cleaning, working out..or just going for a drive and getting some alone time. KEeping myself healthy and happy is key to keeping my family stable.
Due to my ingrained work ethic, I've always felt guilty taking special time for myself just to "play" with papercrafting, or to go somewhere for myself without family. I've learned by doing these things I enjoy and getting refreshed by them, that I'm actually nicer to the people around me after I've taken that time away and "played" with my "toys". Now I just have to make myself remember to do that!
My happiness comes from making others happiness a priority. That's just the way I am. I would feel so guilty if I made mine come first and not all the time just once in a great while. I just couldn't do that.
Life is short. We need to live it to the fullest by being happy. Smile to someone and see what happens.
I've learned that NO ONE and NO THING is going to make me happy. I believe that happiness comes in the details of everyday life and that you have to look for it. I believe that happiness is directly proportional to the appreciation I feel for the people and things around me.
Being with my family makes me happy but having some ALONE time to scrap (which is RARE) is really a treat! Just me and my thoughts and memories of special events, even those everyday moments, is very fulfulling!
It's very important that I feel happy, so that I can do my job as a Mom and Wife a millions times better. When Mom is happy, everyone else is happy, too!
The definition of happiness is worth some thought - i believe that everything we do, we do because in some way, it makes us happy or fulfills us. Even when we act from a sense of obligation, when we do something we dislike, we are fulfulling some part of our being. The balance, then, comes in ensuring that we include in our lives activities that let us grow and make us happy, and that we acknowledge even the little things that truly does make us happy, even if they form only a small part of our day.
I worked a LONG time in the corporate world, surviving day to day, not being myself, not enjoying life. The BEST thing was being laid off and realizing that I need to do something that I LOVE doing everyday! I need to be ME! I am fortunate to have a loving husband who saw that I was happiest playing with paper and teaching others. Since then, I realize that I'm at my best when I'm happy doing what I love to do.
Now that my daughter has moved on (she's almost 22) I don't seem to feel as guilty doing things for myself. I love her to pieces and wouldn't trade her for love nor money but I am really excited to be able to put myself first for a change.
It took being a caregiver for my parents (dad had strokes and mom had Alzheimer's) to really realize I have to do things for me and being happier was one of them. That was one thing they teach you at the caregiver seminars and not to feel guilty. My husband and I gave up lots of things with the move back from Texas to take care of them but they were there for me (us) but it was worth when we look back on that time. Now, to continue to practice what we preach!
Chris R. from Iowa
I realize that if you're not happy with yourself then it's hard to be happy with others. So it is important to take time for yourself and do the things you enjoy.
In order to be all I need to be for myself and others I have been trying to find time to exercise. My health has to be a priority. Also..I have a sign in my kitchen "I can only please one person per day - today isn't your day -Tomorrow isn't looking good either"..which always makes me smile
I have realized that if the mommy is not happy, noboday is happy, so if you don't get up everyday knowing that your job is to make sure you have a good day, and remember to smile right from the inside out. After awhile, you do it without even knowing!
I love to run and sometimes I have my most creative ideas while I'm running. Everyone in my house knows that I am much better to live with if I get my run in during the day. Running is the one thing I do for myself. I try to on a regular basis, if I have a choice of running or working out, I always pick running. Sometimes I feel guilty if I also try to do scrapbooking, like I'm being selfish. When I feel like this I try to remember back when my kids were little and I did nothing for myself. My kids are grown now and I deserve it!
I know that if I am not happy, my husband, children and others I am around at the time are not happy either. I just try to be positive and do things I love such as scrapbooking or reading something uplifting. I am also happy when I am happy with me.
I have realized that I am a much better wife and mother when I make some "me" time. I make time twice a year to go to a cottage for a few days with my scrappy friends. It really rejuvenates me.
My happiness has come from a life changing event. I was diagnosed with MS and that is when I truley started living. I went back to school, took time for myself and began to travel more as a family and just with my husband. It was a real wake up call, now I try to appreciate all of life's little moments and somehow when you look for them you find a lot:)
TLB Westbank BC
I find my happiness comes from where I am with my walk with God. If I'm not finding my peace in Him, I loose all focus and no one is happy in my family.
It's true at our house that "when Mama ain't happy..." One thing that I try to do is maintain a positive attitude and outlook. That is not always easy, but it helps. Also, asking myself if it whatever is at stake will matter in five years helps me try to keep things in perspective a bit better. I still sometimes feel guilty about taking time just for me, but it does make me a better wife, mother, teacher, and all my other roles. Happiness is contagious!
There are 2 things that I do for myself on a regular basis. Those things are scrapbooking and workout class. I have an appt. book which includes my work schedule and other important appt's. I also write in my workout times and I treat them like my other appt. that can't be missed. I scrapbook at home when I can and have started going to weekend reteats. I am going to one in a few weeks and another one in June. I can't wait!
I don't find that happiness comes from doing or not doing something. I do believe attitude is in great measure responsible for happiness and I think one key to that is contentment. The apostle Paul set the example for us: "I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." No matter our circumstances if we are content we can find happiness.
It is true that happiness doesn't always come naturally. Sometimes you do have to focus on the positive, try to keep the negative stuff at a distance. It is true what they say about the self fullfilling prophecy...Think happy and it will be.
At some point, we all need to take time for ourselves. That is part of what makes life exciting. If all we did was please others and work, I think life would become dull.
I have learned that if I am not happy and are in a bad mood I can see my kids also act that way and seem down and bummed out. If I am happy and in a good mood then everyone in the family seems to be more cheerful and happy too.
I always put my family first when they were growing up! They are still #1 but I get to have fun scraping the memories now that they're on their own! Hurray for "Close To My Heart" for letting me have so much fun! SandySec57@aol.com
I take time for scrapbooking workshops, playing bingo and bunco and meeting with friends at all these events gets me out of the house and makes me happy.
I've learned that happiness is reflected in all those that we love and all that we do. When we are happy it makes us stronger, and then all those around us are happier and stronger too...and I think everyone knows that when you're happy and crafting, you can generate some amazing results that just make you happier :)
I am a social worker and mom to 2 young girls - I really need to take care of myself in order to give myself to others, whether that is in my job or at home. I make sure that I attend EVERY CTMH hostess club per month and make time to attend to my shopping club - doing these things make me happy. I also to make time reading before I go to bed.
I stopped trying to make everyone else happy, and I am much happier! Sometimes it's hard to say "no", but it gets easier!
Happiness is a state of mind that only you can control. Having a positive attitude and surronding myself with people I love is one way I keep happy.
I used to feel guilty spending so much money on scrapbooking. But then I realized that scrapbooking is a hobbie that I turely enjoy. Probably the only Hobby that I have. I can spend some time alone, and just let my imagination run wild. Helps to clear my mind, destress and still make something that the whole family can enjoy for years to come.
Although we don't know what the future holds, we can decide in advance how we will react. It takes no more effort to choose to be happy than it does to choose to respond negatively. I've found by choosing to be happy each day, I can positively effect others as well as myself. Personally, I'd much rather face my day knowing I'm going to enjoy the journey rather than dreading what's coming.
I find that I am so busy working, running the kids back and forth, laundry, cooking, dishes etc and doing things that I feel I need to do that I don't really take time for myself to do something for myself. It is true though that if I am tired or stressed then my family gets the resulting moods! I'll have to make 'me' time!
As my husband likes to say, and also tells everyone else....
"HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!"
Words to live by! LOL!!!!
Gardening is my passion. It helps me relax and I love to see the results. Can't wait until Spring!
I try to always look at my glass "half full". A positive attitude helps keep you happy. When I am happy - my whole family is happy. Happiness is truly infectious!!
Having a positive attitude is oh so important! I have found that people like to be around positive people and I know I do. Come on spring!
Jill Alexander, Vail, AZ
I make a conscious choice to be happy, and to remember those things that are important to me and to my family. I try to focus on the positive, and make time for myself.
I have learned that for better or worse, I set the tone at my house. This means I have to spend time being creative or doing things that build me up so that I can set a postive tone for the rest of the family.
Seeking happiness can be tricky. There is a fine line between taking time for yourself (which we must all do) and being selfish. I think true happiness comes from looking outward, not inward. CTMH helps me walk that line. I have a creative outlet, but it is one I can use to bring a smile to other people's faces. Nothing says you are important to me like a handmade card or paper crafted gift!
Teresa
I am going on a scrapbook retreat this weekend!!! I am so excited and plan to be very happy the whole time. I have been taking more time for myself lately to get more happiness out of life. If I am not happy, I project unhappiness onto the people that I love.
Scrapbooking keeps me de-stressed, let's me find a way to be creative, and keeps me centered on the important things in live - God and family.
Nancy - Oklahoma
I think it's hard especially for women to focus on ourselves, especially when our children are young. I think there is a lot of truth in "the wisdom of the ages" -- setting priorities for things that are really important, like everyone's happiness, including our own!!
I've learned that happiness is a conscious choice we make, a mindset. I like to call it contentment...being content with what we have, who we are, our skills and limitations, our opportunites, etc.
Contentment brings peace, and an acceptance to the things that happen in life...trials, tragedies, choices, betrayals, disappointments and on and on. Being on "the other side" now of losing five children, 3 miscarriages and 2 newborns, faith and maturity helps me keep (or try for) a balanced life of contentment, no matter what I am going through.
No one can give contentment/happiness to us and no one can take it from us. It's a personal choice we elect despite what life (to me, God) bring us each day.
I've learned that I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness but my own. Be the best person you can be and happiness will find you.
Happiness truly is a choice. When it's difficult to be happy, turning to God has ALWAYS restored it to me.
Happiness is a choice. I have learned to enjoy what IS NOW. Things may not turn out the way we expect, but there is always something in which to find joy.
As stated above, happiness is truly a choice!!! In every situation that you are in you must find happiness. Once when I was really sick I tried to find things that I should be happy about, such as, a comfortable bed to lay in, a mother who helped me with my children, and medicine that could help me heal quicker. When I'm really down I try to find the one thing that should make me happy and focus on that. Not always easy - but something we should all do.
I used to think that making everyone I cared for happy would make me happy. But the pressure to be perfect at creating others' happiness made me fail. Now I am trying to improve my ability to bring happiness by doing things that make me happy. Scrapbooking is one of those things - happiness begets happiness!
I have never taken the time to think about myself. I am a mother of 5 small children ages 9yrs to 9weks old, so i dont have time to think about me! But until recently i was asked what "I" want..and i really had to think long and hard about it..i realized I need time for myself. So, i decided that i will be signing up to become a CTMH consultant this Friday! I feel this will give me the time i need and will show the children that Mom too can help support the family and have adult time...which i definitely need!
I just had a baby and I have learned to make myself a priority because when I am happy I am a happy mom. It can be a simple as taking a bath when my hubby gets home but I make a effort to make myself happy
Getting up in the morning and writing down 5 things I am grateful for in my Gratitude Journal(which I made in a Close To My Heart class), helps me start my day off in a grateful and happy frame of mind!
My happiness is spending time by myself and splurging on finding time to spend by myself. Even if it is just going to the grocery store or pharmacy.
I've learned that you can always learn something new if you just take the time to look around and listen.
That's why I scrapbook!!!!! Scapbooking is my time -- it relaxes me and helps me remember how blessed I am and how much joy I have in my life!!!!
I've noticed that if anyone in my family is having a bad day, it affects all of us. Learning to de-stress is a key ingredient in the "happiness cocktail".
I find that I am a very happy positive person. I don't think I have ever felt guilty for being happy.
As a mom and a therapist, I tell others all the time remember to fill their bucket too or we will have nothing to give others. Scrapping fills my bucket almost as good as a spa day, but I have so much more to show for it and it lasts forever!
I try to remember to take a few minutes for myself every day to recharge... as long as I do that, things around here are pretty positive.
Happiness is a heart matter, it's a daily choice. I have to anchor my happiness in God first, then it's easier to share & show to others.
All I know is life goes a lot smoother when I have a positive attitude and try to be happy!
LRHPS
One thing I know.....I am very happy to be a Grandma. Those grandkids are such a joy! And....it's so fun to scrap them.
If the oxygen masks drop on the plane, we are instructed to take our own first, before we help those who cannot do for themselves. It's an apt metaphor for living our lives: if we take care of our own needs we will then be able to care for those we love. Happiness is not something to be saved for another time - life is short, and it's the only one we get. We must make sure our basic needs are met, and in my book happiness is a basic need. And, it's contagious, so it only does everyone good when we choose to cultivate happiness.
When my husband deployed to Iraq last year, I threw myself into my school work to try and keep myself busy. That quickly backfired and just added more stress to my life. It took one of my friends inviting me to a Close to My Heart scrapbooking party to make me realize that I needed to do something fun to keep myself from missing my husband so much and not just do things I had to do. Scrapbooking is now something I set time aside for regularly to make sure I always have my fun time even now when my husband is home.
My husband heard of something that goes kinda like this, "Happy wife = happy life!" He swears by it and he tells all his buddies. I've never even heard of that phrase before but each time he says it, we both laugh about it.
doramiyi
Every day, I make a conscious decision to Be Happy. :) It's a decision, it's my choice. Yes, there are plenty of things for me to be sad about, but our life is better when we're happy. It is very important for those of us who are the caretakers in our families, to carve out some "me time"... to refill our quotient of joy & happiness. Otherwise, our limited sources are depleted, little by little, without a way to refill. :) Scrapbooking on a regular basis with my BFF and g/f's really helps refill my Happy! :)
Having dealt with severe depression for more than 20 years, I know it is imperative for me to be in charge of my own happiness! I keep a mental list of things that make me happy (fresh flowers, my favorite scents, scrapbooking, etc.) and try to do/enjoy at least one every day.
I too feel to be happy is a choice I make each day....it is usually pretty easy for me because I am by nature optimistic. Scrapping does make me happy because I can create something that brings me JOY!
I have found out that with gratitude comes happiness for me. To stop and focus on how good life is, even in the hard times it helps me to be more happy.
I have to remind myself daily that it is ok to find my happiness. We, as a society, tend to put others before ourselves (which is good up to a point - don't get me wrong) and forget that we deserve to be first on that list sometimes too! I try to find a few minutes to myself every day, breathe deep, and envision something that makes me smile for the rest of the day.
Finding joy in the everyday moments of being a mom and a wife have been a struggle for me - a classic attention seeking, goal oriented, over-achiever. The true key to happiness has been learning to realize how blessed I am to have those roles (as mom and wife) because not everyone gets to experience it. There will always be another job, another contest to win, etc. but those moments as a mom and wife can end in the blink of an eye and I don't want to waste one moment choosing to be unhappy. I chose to be happy rejoicing in the roles God has trusted me with.
I take on the responsibilities and blame for a lot of others problems during my work day on the phone.
It's hard to stay happy in that environment for sure!
But I have to realize the 3 C's
I didn't Create it...
I can't Change it...
I can't control others actions.
I CAN be sympathetic, though!
Even though it is a lot of work, my Scrapbooking retreats are a no-guilt happiness for me!
As a teacher, I know that my mood impacts the classroom. It is essential that I am happy and living a balanced life, because the kids may not remember the content I teach, but they will remember how I make them feel!
I was suprised how quickly I forgot to do the things that make be happy after having kids. It was so easy to get mired in the daily care and feeding that I never noticed the fun surrounding me.
It has been quite the rollercoaster ride; five years and two kids later I feel I am finding my bliss. (again)
Simply taking time to notice my level of happiness is making me feel like a more productive person and a much better mom. Gone are the days when I ask myself, "What DO I like to do?". :)
I really like the product.
As a teacher, I know I set the mood in the classroom. My attitude, happiness and general mood set the climate; it's truly contagious. I think it's like the instructions on an airplane that you give yourself the oxygen first so that you are able to care for the others around you. That's not selfish, it's the caring thing to do. If I care for my students and family, I need to take care of myself; in so doing, I can better care for them.
My quest to find my own happiness started a couple years ago, I made decisions for myself that others around me did not approve of but I had to do it for me and no one else. 2009 was a great year, I remember telling DH that for once in my life I genuinely felt like a happy person.
Wow, I hadn't read any posts since I was quickly putting down my thoughts before the bewitching hour, hoping to have a chance at the free Felicity kit. Then I read Chrystabel's comments just before mine and really realized how true it is, not only for our students, but it's true for everyone, family and friends, too. We don't so much remember the details of an event, but whether we feel loved and secure.
I try to think positively during the day as much as possible and to realize that all the people I try to keep happy and see happy also want the same for me so it's okay to take some "me time" and ensure that I'm happy too!! We've been through so many things that have opened my eyes to that fact that the petty crap really doesn't matter and that I can embrace all the joy in my life and relish it instead of focusing on the bad cuz that would never work for me. I'm the "chearleader" for those around me and I'm working on being my own at the same time nowadays!
After the death of my sister in 2008, I realized that life is incredibly short! Since that time, I have begun to do things I've always wanted to do (scrapbooking/cardmaking for one). I also got a dog, went to puppy classes with her and am doing things that make me feel good as a person. It is not for my husband or my children, but for me. I think that inner peace and happiness must be achieved if we can help make others happy. I know that I am not solely responsible for others happiness, I do realize that I can play a role...but if I am not with peace and happiness myself, I can't help others! I am looking to strive to make every day the best, and live it as if it were my last. Being kind and caring to others and doing things I want to do.
I know that if i am happy, I am a much better mom and wife!! I need to take time to papercraft, exercise, and socialize, and then I have more energy to share with others!!
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